Can you believe it’s another ‘Words & Wine Down Wednesday’ already? Where does the time go? Speaking of time, let’s just start off with a little ‘sip-time”. You know what they say, “Time is of the essence.” May as well utilize it with a little wine. {sip} While we’re on this topic of ‘time’, I thought it was a perfect opportunity to do another Q & A from the comment section on my Keep A Family Calendar blog post. I have been asked many times, not only on my blog, but other sources as well, how my husband and I make time for each other. I’ve had young, newly married snapchatters with kids inquire, as well as people that have been married as long as my husband and I, if not longer. I think we all can relate, it is just plain hard these days to fit it all in. There’s only one of us and everybody wants a piece. {sip}

For today’s Q & A, I rounded up a repeated question. Many readers asked: How do you and your husband find time for each other with such busy schedules and a household full of kiddos?

This is such a great question, but I think we all could benefit from having a little bit more added to this question. Let’s see how many of you shake your head in agreement because this has happened or may even still be happening in your relationship: Let me re-phrase this:  How do you and your husband find time for each other with your busy schedules and a houseful of kids without making it into a full-blown VENTING session??? {gulp}

I’m sure a lot of you know what I mean … maybe a little something like this:  You FINALLY get time alone and now it’s a full on lash out session. He’s telling you everything you’re doing wrong, you’re telling him the same, this kid is doing that, that one is doing this, we have no money, you disrespect me ….blah, blah, blah, blah ,blah. (my goodness, take a sip) My husband has a great phrase for this, ‘War of Words’. How true is that?

Let me first start by saying, that is not how you want your time alone to be spent. This is not productive. There is a time and a place to sit down and have a serious discussion with your spouse over marital and family matters. But that should be scheduled for what it is, and it should be very clear to both parties. No grenades being thrown on a romantic date night. Actually, my husband and I don’t even sit down and have these discussions. This particular type of discussion generally happens through text, email, or a phone conversation. I wouldn’t say that is the healthiest method, and if you CAN sit down and have those heart to heart conversations over family matters, I strongly encourage it. The dynamics of our family with so many ears scattered around the house, and our limited time together (personally), sitting down together is just not going to happen. We’ve accepted that it is, what it is. And for now it has to work. We are at a very consuming time in our lives with the ages and number of kids we have. We have no choice but to be adaptable.

I think as you travel through married life and raising a family, you clearly go through different stages. Although my husband and I still have a 10 yr old, our oldest four daughters are at the age of being independent and very self-sufficient. In all honesty, the 10 year old is pretty self-sufficient herself; perks of having four much older sisters. Since we have reached this ‘stage’ in our life where our kids, for the most part, can meet their own needs, we are no longer at the mercy of having to constantly be with them, bring them with us, or worse yet, hiring and paying for babysitters. This itself opens the door to more opportunities to spend time together as a couple. However, both my husband and I are extremely busy. We both have our personal businesses that are in the early stages. My husband has a few more years working for a big company before he retires. This is very overwhelming and time consuming to say the least. A lot of you used the term, “find time” in your question, and that’s exactly what it is. We ‘find’ the time. We don’t look for perfect settings, perfect scenarios and we both understand and RESPECT that although we’re trying to spend ‘quality’ time together, the businesses that we are both launching may pull us away for a minute here and there. We don’t put that ‘pins-and-needles’ or ‘walking on egg shells’ pressure on one another, nor our relationship. Again, this craziness we’re going through is a stage, it too shall pass. You have to continue to cultivate your relationship with your spouse. The kids will be gone someday, but whether you like it or not, the spouse is here to stay. {take a big chug, you’re due} The other important thing ..especially for you young couples, be a person your spouse WANTS to spend time with. I can not stress this enough. You may have to learn to love what he loves. In our marriage, my husband had it quite easy from the beginning of our relationship because I enjoy watching sports and my husband is a sports fanatic!! I stay plugged in and do my best to keep current with what’s going on in current sports. Now, this comes easy when you already enjoy it. If you don’t enjoy something that your spouse does, you may want to make an effort to meet him half-way. More times than not, you may be going over half-way. Don’t make it a power struggle, or keep score. Making this effort is cultivating your relationship. This creates a person he wants to be around, a person he wants to hang out with, have a beer and watch some football with. It can be anything. But be sure to find it, you probably already know what it is. After a while, it should reciprocate. You know the saying, “you get out what you put in.” The goal is to find time for each other and make it enjoyable. Don’t mumble and grumble, it’s not a time for negativity or any pitty-party excuses. Come on, we can all come up with them. Your husband probably married a pretty fun and playful girl. Just because you’re a grown adult doesn’t mean you’re above having a little bit of fun and energy about yourself. That’s a huge attraction itself.

I hope this post will give you something to walk away with. We’re all overwhelmed, we’re all tired and we all have issues that we want and need to get out with our spouses. Married life is serious business. But it also requires making time for each other. It’s not going to show up, just like a cleaning lady isn’t going to come knocking at your door. You have to make the time and make the time good. {finish her up}

Striped Blouse: I.N.C. Concepts {Macy’s}  |  Layered Vest: new spring-line, not on website yet .. I’ll link once available  |  Choker Necklace: Urban Outfitters  |   Handbag: H & M  |  Shoes: Nine West  |  Lip Liner Pencil: Urban Decay  |  Lipstick:  Maybelline Fifth Avenue Fuchsia   |  Lip-gloss: Rimmel Stay Glossy in Fuchsia Fever  |  Cologne: Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt 1 oz. & 3.4 oz.

Tonight’s Wine Review: This wine is a perfect example of why I love my Cabs: Great value, full-enough body, very smooth, wonderful! Many 10 to 15 dollar bottles of wine can only wish they tasted this good. Next time you’re out, pick yourself up a bottle. You won’t be sorry. I always have a bottle of Smoking Loon on hand.

2013 Smoking Loon Cabernet Sauvignon

Disclaimer: Beverages containing alcohol are often associated with sharing, pleasure, unwinding and socializing. However, there are times when drinking at all, or too much can be risky to you or to others. This blog post is for light-hearted, sharing ONLY! If you are over the age of 21, and choose to drink, please drink responsibly and don’t drink and drive.