CARDIGAN: old, similar options Macy’s + J. Crew, and plus size from Nordstrom | TANK: Top Shop + the Cami version | SKINNIES: Mother + HM Regular + HM Ripped {size up 2 for H & M} | SHOES: Espadrille Wedge {ON SALE!} I also have & love this pair by Chinese Laundry | BELT: Target +  HM | HANDBAG: Steve Madden ON SALE + ‘XV45L2’ gets you an extra 20% at check-out | BRACELET: Baublebar + Chan Luu | NECKLACE: options HM + another HM, Turquoise options at Nordstrom + Nordstrom + Nordstrom | EARRINGS: Macy’s {ON SALE} | WATCH: Target | RING: INC International Concepts | NAIL POLISH: OPI | LIPSTICK: Mesmerizing Magenta | LIP PENCIL: Jilted | LIP BRUSH: Real Techniques

Happy words and wine down Wednesday, Everyone! I hope your week is going well. I won’t waste too much time on chit-chat. Not that I generally do. {gulp} I am sure you are anxious to hear what my husband and I have to say about our ‘Financial Freedom’ Plan and our views on money. {sip} When you’ve been married this long (a whopping 24 years) {gulp}, and have five kids together, {BIG gulp} 2 of them being adult and two almost there, you know a thing or two about teamwork when it comes to money. Either you are a team, or you’re not a team. If you are not a team, I hope both you and your spouse can take something from this blog post, come to a sensible agreement, and start working together, especially for your children’s sake. {sip}

A little quick history: Both my husband and I were fortunate to be raised by parents that were very frugal with their money. Although NOW our parents are in financial positions where they could live ‘much less’ frugal than they did when raising children, both sets continue to live like hermits. {gulp} I hope they aren’t reading this. It’s a compliment, Mom and Dad (both sides), it’s a compliment! Don’t be offended! {gulp}. There goes my inheritance! {gulp, again} Needless to say, we were lucky the seed had been planted in our upbringings. That really helped ensure that money would NOT be an issue of animosity and disagreement in mine and my husbands relationship. I have no doubt whatsoever that our five girls will be just as savvy in their money management skills, as both my husband and I are. That seed was planted from day one, as well, and they don’t prescribe to anything different with their own spending and saving habits. For you ‘just married’ or ‘young parents’, let this be encouragement for you to start early with your children. The dividends for your efforts will be rewarded later in life. I know it’s cliche, but patience REALLY is a virtue. You will reap what you sow.

The Q & A: I copy and pasted some of the more specific questions. There were a lot of general questions, and the answers provided below will pertain to a majority of those. You will see the questions in ‘bold’ and my husband or both of our answer’s below, as shown. I let my husband, Paul, handle most of it, and basically copy and pasted his answers, as well.

FINANCIAL FREEDOM

• Elizabeth asks: It’s always interesting to see other’s opinions on money management. I know of quite a few different theories. The two biggies that come to mind first would be Robert Kiyosaki and Dave Ramsey. Between the two ideas (1. saving/living below your means as much as possible and getting out of debt asap VS 2. out working the problem and using (good) debt to make more money.) Which would you say you side with more?

Paul’s reply: I am a huge Dave Ramsey fan. Frankly, the best thing that ever happened to us (financially), is when Tracy bought the book by Dave Ramsey called, The Total Money Makeover (Workbook). But most importantly, she read both of them herself before giving it to me. Getting her to ‘buy in’ and understand the concepts was key!

Dave Ramsey is absolutely what all couples need! Talk about the BEST wedding gift there is!

The single most important thing in financing is to live below your means…It doesn’t matter how much you make….

Tracy & I are NOT fans of using debt to attempt to make more money…like borrowing money to make money. I understand people have to take risks, and loans can be a good thing to launch a business, etc….

I am a fan of calculated risks: risks of money that I can afford to lose. For example, if a relative calls and wants to “borrow” $5,000, and says that they will pay you back. If you decide to let them borrow that money, the most calculated risk is that you will NEVER get that money back. You must be willing to lose the entire investment when you are in situations like that. I am not saying that you shouldn’t necessarily loan your relative the money. Just be prepared and knowledgeable that you may never get it back. Only loan out what you are willing to lose.

The other thing I like about Dave Ramsey is the fact that he advises to take care of yourself first. Your children are 2^nd.  Your financial freedom is first. We have lived by this concept. We have raised our kids to have a strong work ethic and to recognize that nothing is free in this world. You can have a Masters degree or a PHD, but if you are lazy and have a poor work ethic, then you won’t have much.

Our children have always had to earn their keep. They must work at the earliest age. Checking (debit) accounts get opened at the age of 13 in our home, and the education starts. It starts at a much earlier age, but the official account starts at age 13.

Tracy and I are on the same page, as money goes. We are both conscious and aware that money is hard to come by and easy to go. There are lots of marriages that have disagreements over money. The most important thing is to communicate each pay period, making sure that both parties are involved and on the same page. Typically in a household, there is one person paying the bills and taking care of the finances. However, and this is big: this person is NOT in charge of the finances. He/she is just the ‘secretary’ making the transactions. Both the husband & wife should be making the decisions ‘together’ as the Board of Directors….. so to speak. IF one or the other takes total control, then some issues can begin to occur.

• Lisa asks: Do either of you have a ‘financial pet peeve’, some way the other spends money that drives you nuts? Easily my husband would say my shopping, and I’d say his little trips out to the casino, drives me bonkers, what a waste! Lol!

Paul’s reply: The only pet peeve that I have with my wife for spending money is how many pairs of shoes do you really need? And how many purses can someone have? And how many lipsticks and nail polishes are there in this world? I never realized there were so many different colors and shades possibly on this earth. Guys only have a few colors … life is so simple.

Tracy’s reply: Lisa, although it would be hard for me to justify the expense of some of the items that Paul purchases, because they are not necessarily interests to me, I DO respect a couple things: 1.) I respect the fact that the things that Paul likes or gets pleasure from, may not be the same as what I like or get pleasure from. Therefore, he can justify the expense of the item or event, where I may not. However, I also feel strongly that it needs to go both ways. He may not put ‘value’ on the purchases I make or things I enjoy to do, but he should give the same respect. 2.) I HIGHLY respect the fact that Paul NEVER pays face value for ANYTHING! He always searches very hard to find the best price, and utilizes discount methods for almost every purchase made .. including greens fees for golf, etc. There is NEVER wasteful spending coming out of any of our accounts. I follow the same theory and a lot of times, turn a purchase that I would like to make over to him, because I know he is very skilled in finding it for me at the best price out there. CONCLUSION: I think this is very important for couples to realize. Don’t make fun of his $300 golf club, because YOU don’t see the value in it. And in turn, HE should not be mocking your $60 handbag, because he doesn’t see the value in it. This, OF COURSE, is with the understanding that you and your spouse have the money in the first place. In other words, you’re not ‘Robbing Peter to Pay Paul!!! {gulp} aka, paying with credit! To which my mind is saying, why are either of you buying any of these items in the first place. If you are finding there is disagreement and animosity in this area, THAT, my married friends, is very well where the problem lies!!! {Big gulp}

• Deanne Writes:  I would like to know how to afford college tuition?  So far, we have done everything through loans. Do you give weekly/monthly allowances to your girls? Investing, that is a great one, too! Other than a 401k, what else should one be investing in? 

Paul’s reply: As far as college tuition goes, it’s pretty straightforward in our home. The kids work and pay for their own college tuition. Remarkably their grades are better, because if you slack off and flunk a class, then you take it again and you pay twice. It is by far one of the BEST decisions that we have made. Thank you Dave Ramsey and of course, my wife, who fully supports this decision. I used to feel a little guilty myself, but not anymore … LOL …. It has really made my 2 oldest children grow and appreciate money … and I say this in a positive manner. If there is one thing that our kids will all say when they leave our home and are out on their own, is that we truly took the time to share with them the proper education on money and making solid financial decisions.

Tracy’s reply: Deanne, to answer your question, college tuition expenses for our two oldest daughters are being managed by them. They worked through high school and saved money. Our third daughter, who is a junior in high school, has her first year and a half (going on two) years of college saved for, already … just from working and SAVING! Where we live, when you graduate from high school, your parents throw an open house for you. You receive a good lump sum of money from gifts at this gathering. That pays for a lot of your first year expenses, as well. Our two college age girls have not chosen to spend large amounts of money on expensive colleges. They started their first two years at community colleges and one of them lived at home, while the other has an apartment. The girl’s are aware that it is not necessary to go ‘away’ to college, and it has no reflection on their success in the business market. There are many parents who may disagree with this method, and that is fine. I may disagree with them, as well, but I do respect that parents are doing the best they can and are free to make whatever choice they so choose when it comes to their children. I only hope it’s not at the expense of their financial future. There are plenty of children out there who are receiving college tuition via Grandma & Grandpa, also. That’s fantastic, if that worked out for you. We do not have that as an option in our families, and there is nothing wrong with that. Our parents DO have financial freedom and security, and there is a reason for it. They knew when to cut the ties. I applaud them for their wise decision. We will follow suit. Our two oldest are getting through their first four years of college with none to very little debt. Our oldest daughter graduates in December and will start Grad School, Fall of 2017. This will throw a whole new curve ball. But they, nor my husband and I, worry one bit about this. The girls are such good and hard workers, and so good at planning ahead, saving their money and living below their means, they will be just fine. When they get married someday, it most likely will not be their debt that will be brought to the marriage. That is something we talk about in our home. As for parent’s taking out loans for their children’s tuition, my suggestion is: Let’s look at the time it takes to pay something like that off. Are you planning to retire soon? Will this inhibit that? Are you stretching yourself? I know what we most likely would do. But I believe every situation is unique. Just don’t be willing to sacrifice the number one objective, and that’s your ‘Financial Freedom’.

Allowance: NEVER! It has never been brought up for discussion by either Paul or myself. Maybe it’s because we were not raised in homes where allowance was given. Therefore, we both never gave it thought. In our home, it’s the girl’s responsibility, as members of the family, to pitch-in, get their work done and done in a way that meets our expectations. You will not be paid in our home to contribute to the functioning of our home and family.

Investing: That will be a whole blog post to itself done by Paul. I’m too busy investing in shoes, handbags, lipstick and nail polishes (in every shade) … {gulp} {gulp} ok, is somebody getting sensitive?? lol

• Jennifer asks: I wanted to hear your thoughts about weddings and the monetary parental obligations or lack-thereof. Like you and your husband, my dad is “tight” with his money…. I just call it smart though! I expect that he will probably be the only one out of my parents that contribute to my wedding. That being said, he definitely has no idea what an average wedding should cost or even what to plan for.

Paul’s reply (with add-ins from Tracy): Weddings, another easy one: First of all, There WILL BE a budget! And it will be manageable. Tracy and I will provide for our girl’s weddings what we are comfortable with (at that time). We will let them know right up front what we are willing to contribute. The cards will be laid out on the table immediately, as to prevent any later confusion. IF you chose to use our contribution towards a down payment for your house and a smaller wedding, then hats off to you. If you choose to resource the allotted amount on one night, for say a big extravagant wedding, then that is your choice. This gives our girls the freedom to have whatever type of wedding they and their future spouse choose to have. With five girls, they will not all choose to get married at the same time (cost-wise) nor choose the same type of venue. There is 12 years difference between our oldest and youngest, therefore, the monetary contribution coming from their mother & I may not be a same exact amount per child. It will however be fair. Our girls are already aware of this. Again, the seed has been planted early. AGAIN, thank you, Dave Ramsey, for the advice … as we will only give what we can financially afford at the time, and are willing to spend. We will maintain our financial freedom first!! Average weddings nowadays are probably somewhere around $25,000. So lets see: Wedding at 4 pm, then reception, which ends at 12 midnight  =  8 hours total. That equals $3,125 an hour……Hmmmmm……Not on my watch!

BOOK: The Total Money Makeover (Workbook) | WALLET: old, Kate Spade ‘Stacy’, new options: Cobble Hill – Stacy + Cedar Street – Stacy

Other note-worthy tips from Dave Ramsey

• You never cash out a 401(k) or IRA to pay off debt, unless it’s to avoid a foreclosure or bankruptcy.
• My children were taught at an early age how money works and that it comes from hard work. They’ve been on a commission – not an allowance – since they were little. They learned that if they worked around the house, they got paid. If they didn’t work, they didn’t get paid.
• Children who reach the age of eighteen with their entire skills set composed on Nintendo and eating Doritos, have been neglected. Their parents neglected to give them the character traits necessary to live successfully.
• The thing I have discovered about working with personal finance is that it is not rocket science. Personal finance is about 80% behavior. It is only about 20% head knowledge.
• You have to teach children about money intentionally – create teachable moments.

You have plenty of information to absorb in tonight’s very important topic of obtaining ‘Financial Freedom’. Therefore, I will not be doing a wine review on the blog, this week. Due to the fact that our Wednesday evening schedule has been bumped up an hour due to kids and church activities, we are starting our usual 5 PM ‘Wine Down’ an hour earlier. As you may have seen on Snapchat, the wine is chilled, and I will be enjoying a glass with you around 4 pm. I hope you enjoy whatever it is that’s in your glass tonight, whether it’s wine, decaf coffee or a cup of chamomile tea.

I hope you enjoyed and I thank you for reading tonight’s post. Hopefully you can walk away with some tools to help you achieve ‘Financial Freedom’. If you’re young, start early. If you’re old, it’s never too late. Please feel free to leave your comments and questions below. I am certain a follow-up will be coming in the near future. We also never hit on another big topic, when it comes to raising children and teens … and that would be Cars. Let me know if that is something you would be interested in hearing about. Also, if you are interested in more tips that Paul & I have obtained and implemented in our home, from reading Dave Ramsey’s Book, let me know. His method of getting debt FREE and staying debt FREE is priceless!!!! Painful at first, but the end result is FREEDOM! Your questions and suggestions give us insight to what you would like to hear.

Disclaimer: Beverages containing alcohol are often associated with sharing, pleasure, unwinding, and socializing. However, there are times when drinking at all or too much can be risky to you or to others. This blog post is for light-hearted sharing ONLY! If you are over the age of 21 and choose to drink, please drink responsibly and don’t drink and drive.